Over the course of last year four of my dear friends lost a parent, and my community lost a powerful Mother (Sobonfu Some). Because of these brave souls I have been blessed to hear cries of anguish, quiet resolve, laughter, questions, stories to crack a heart wide open, long moments of the deepest silence, and music that makes you want to cry and dance at the same time.
There were moments in this last year where my own father almost passed from this world. Once, sitting with a friend in the woods I imagined him gone, saw myself holding his poems close to my chest as if they were the organs, or limbs of his great body. Tried to find a pocket in my mind where I could put the blue of his eyes so that I would not forget. I remember the sky looked pale that day, clinging to the tops of the redwood trees the way it does. I remember my bare feet dusty and cold.
My dad was having heart trouble. It wasn't new and it isn't a secret. If I had to guess I'd say my dad's heart is so full of his love of this life, of music, and art, poetry and service that he found a way to be here. We aren't always offered more time. And accepting that time, making the choice to be here was at a great cost.
Still, on those mornings when he sends me a note that makes me laugh, or those evenings when I call him crying and discouraged and can hear his voice on the other line, when my son can send him a poem, and get one in return, I am grateful for his choice, his sacrifice.
I remember, at a transition in my life, sharing with him that I was feeling afraid to start over.... and he said, "Aw, Honey, if you think this is the only time you're going to start over in this life, think again!"
My dad has gone through so much to be here. His commitment to remain here and to continue offering his gifts has revolutionized the way I live my life. Funny thing about deaths and revolutions - both require letting go, and both require taking that first courageous step into the unknown.
What are you letting go of?
What are you commited to offering?
(I love you Dad. I'm grateful every day that you chose to stay.)
Hello Dear One
The feminine is mystery and matter. It exists in each of us regardless of gender. So much of the unique wisdom of the feminine has been manipulated, devalued, or forced into hiding. The way we have ignored this part of ourselves shows in our anxiety, depression, exhaustion. It shows in the scars of the earth, and the grief in our hearts.
I bring women together who are interested in cultivating more vulnerability, love, and peace in their lives. I support women to reclaim their